B is for Bi
B is for Bisexual
Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host. We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time. Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is B and B is for Bisexual.
People who are bisexual are attracted to both men and women (and some are attracted to all genders)
Joining me today to talk about this topic is Cooper S Beckett. Cooper S. Beckett is the co-founder and host of Life on the Swingset: The Podcast since 2010, author of swinging & polyamory novels A Life Less Monogamous and Approaching The Swingularity, and memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory. He teaches and speaks on swinging, polyamory, pegging, play parties, and coloring outside the boundaries of your sexuality. He is a graphic & web designer, photographer, and voice over artist, has been a guest expert on Dan Savage’s Savage Lovecast, & is the announcer of Tristan Taormino’s radio show Sex Out Loud.
We started our talk about male bisexuality by looking at some of the differences to female bisexuality. We both agreed that bivisibility is a huge issue but even worse for men than for women. We spoke about how difficult many people find ambivalence and how non-binary identifications are the definition of ambivalence for people who are not non-binary.
We spoke about the difficulties and joys of being a bisexual male. Cooper said that in the swinging community he reckons a good 80% of the women are bisexual – or at least willing to engage in bisexual activity. We spoke about how men have encouraged women to explore and he suggested that if women were willing to encourage men more he thought more men would experiment. He was very clear to say that he wasn’t blaming women for anything, just suggesting that encouragement would help.
We spoke about how communities are not supporting each other at present but instead bickering about levels of privilege, problems and issues. We agreed this was sad but Cooper said it is like the last rat off a sinking ship syndrome. There is so much more persecution at present that people fight for scarce resources.
Cooper spoke about a lot of this coming from people being afraid of things they don’t understand. We highlighted how important it is to learn what turns you on, accept yourself and what turns you on so that you can create a congruent authentic sexual life. We were both clear that this starts with personal exploration, internal exploration rather than looking to the external world. We spoke about how difficult it can be to seek help when you are struggling with these issues and how important it is that people have safe places to take these issues.
Cooper finished by saying that his journey thus far has been wonderful even through the difficult parts and encouraged other men who are unsure to be willing to try. He emphasised that what you do and who you are may be different things and that doing something once doesn’t change your orientation.
You can find Cooper at http://coopersbeckett.com
There you can find links to his podcast and all of his books.
Thanks for joining me for the A to Z of Sexoo this week. Write to me with suggestions for the show, questions you want answered at drloribeth@atozofsex.com , follow me on twitter, Instagram and Facebook.
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