Episode 21

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Published on:

28th Aug 2017

U is for Ursusgalmatophilia

Hi everyone!  Welcome to the A to Z of Sex.  I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones.  Today the letter is U and U is for Ursusgalmatophilia 

Ursusgalmatophilia is primarily a fetish for teddy bears.  It is also the formal name for a fetish for all plushies and a fetish for dressing up as animals.  So it is the formal name for Furries.

I know many of you may be thinking that teddy bears and sex don’t belong in the same sentence.   However, more people than you think have teddy bears as part of their sexual lives.   For some, the connection is made when they are very young and cuddle a teddy bear while discovering masturbation.   Remember that self-pleasure begins around the age of two and that one of the main functions of pleasure prior to puberty is to give comfort when upset or frightened.  Who better than your best teddy to help with the job?  Many young girls learn to masturbate by rubbing against their stuffies. 

Most people don’t have a primary fetish for teddy bears so would not be properly classified as ursusgalmatophiles.    The teddy bear may feature in their sexual life but isn’t essential to it. 

However, there are some people for whom this is a central focus for their sexual activity.    In 2010, Charles Marshall was arrested for having sex with a teddy bear in public for the fourth time.  It was unclear if exhibitionism was part of his thrill as he did engage in these acts in public. 

For some, the teddy bear or other stuffed animal is part of getting in touch with their inner child and becomes part of age play.  Age play is often a controversial fetish as there are extremely strong taboos around childhood sexuality and any form of incest.  In age play, a person enjoys roleplay in which they are a younger age.  It usually divides into four categories: adult baby (which usually covers to toddler), little (up to 9 or so), middle (9 – 12) and teen.    Many littles and middles (and some teens) enjoy stuffed animals and sometimes these become part of their sexual play.    For more on littles, listen out for A is for Age play at the beginning of the next series of this podcast.

A more common form of this fetish is people who are sexually aroused by dressing up as animals or by fictional furry characters.  These folks are more commonly known as furries.   These people often dress up as fictional characters (like bugs bunny for example) and role play is an integral part of their interaction.  Many have favourite animals (like bears, wolves, puppies) and dress in full costumes, roleplaying the animal.  Lifestylers profess a deep emotional and spiritual connection with the animal they dress/roleplay as.  Animals can be real, fictional or symbolic (dragons and unicorns are popular).   Sexual activities that are part of the lifestyle often include erotica and furry themed cybersex.

Not all of the community has sexual interest in the furries that they role play.  In 2011, a survey was done with 7000 participants.  They categorised 4338 of the respondents as furries.  There were 170 questions in this study.  The average age of furries in the study was 23. 54% of the participants were between 18 and 21 years old.  The survey had respondents from all over the world.    The vast majority of the respondents were male (84%).  A small percentage of the people in the study actually feel that they are not 100% human.   1/3 of the respondents said that sexual attraction is an essential part of their furry activities.

Furries are often anthropomorphised animals.  This means that the animals act in ways that are human – like.  For example, they walk on 2 feet.    Inclusion and belonging are central themes for lots of the people who identify as part of the furry lifestyle.      

Some furries are also plushies (sexually attracted to stuffed animals) and others are not.  Many find scratching (grooming each other) and fur piles (where they are all lying on top of each other affectionately – rather than sexually) the most satisfying activities.    Lots of furries resemble the animal they identify with.    Some are clear that being a furry is about an identity not about sex. 

Many are fans of various animated characters – like Tony the Tiger, Bugs Bunny, Mickey Mouse and the fandom has been compared to Star Trek fans.    They are fans of stories and media that includes anthropomorphic animals.   As I said above, there are many more biological males.  The community is actually 7 times more likely than the general populate to identify as transgender.  It is said in some circles that the community is an extremely welcoming community and an inclusive one.   However, in the few years, there have been outlier groups who are alt right and promote violence and fascism.    The leader of the main group The Raiders gave himself the hashtag this year #altfurry.

There are others who tap into real animal energies as opposed to stuffed animal or anthropomorphised animal energies.  They include primal players who allow themselves to contact their animal natures when involved in sex and sexual play.  Many of these are part of the BDSM and/or kink communities.  There is often lots of biting, scratching and little human speech during this type of sex or play.    There are also people a fetish for sex with actual animals.  This is a much smaller group of people.  Sex with animals is illegal in most jurisdictions primarily because animals cannot give consent.

The humble teddy bear finds his way into far more sexual scenarios than you may have considered in the past.  Who knew he was so naughty?

Jenny wrote in:  ‘I have always slept with a teddy bear.  When I was young, I masturbated by pressing my pussy against the bear.  I don’t do this anymore as I now have far better tools to help me get myself off.  But I still find fur (real and artificial) erotic.  Is there something wrong with me? ‘

Jenny there is nothing wrong with you.  You have brought this sensual and sexual set of memories with you from your childhood.  This is very common.  Many fetishes are developed from roots in childhood.  Your desires cause no one any harm but your shame around this can cause you to have trouble with orgasm and trouble fully enjoying your sexual life.     I would suggest you spend some time working on releasing that shame and fully accepting all your sexual feelings.  If you find this difficult to do on your own, you may benefit from some coaching sessions.  If you want to bring some your appreciation for fur forward into your sexual life, consider using fur for a sensual massage or to stroke a partner.

 Martina wrote in to say ‘I have always used a stuffed toy for masturbation and I cannot seem to get off any other way.  Please help.’  It can be really hard to change the way you masturbate and the way in which you reach orgasm, particularly if it has been in place since childhood.  You can begin to introduce your fingers or a vibrator or dildo into your self-pleasuring session just before orgasm begins which may help you begin to move from the stuffed toy to your fingers, vibrator or dildo.  Start by using your fingers in addition to the toy and slowly move the toy away at the point of orgasm.  Once you can reach orgasm with only your fingers at the end of your self-pleasuring session, introduce your fingers (vibrator, dildo) a little earlier in the session.  Each time you have success, introduce your fingers (vibrator, dildo) earlier still until you start the session without the toy.  This may take quite a long time but if you persist you should be able to vary your masturbation routine.

 

Thanks for joining me for the A to Z of SexÒ.

Write to me with suggestions for the show, questions you want answered at drloribeth@atozofsex.com , follow me on twitter, Instagram and Facebook..  Check out my YouTube channel: Dr Lori Beth Bisbey.  For a free 30-minute strategy session with me, go to https://atozofsex.com/ and click the button that says Schedule Now! See you next week when the letter will be V and V is for Vagina.

 

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About the Podcast

The A to Z of Sex
The A to Z of Sex Podcast
Welcome to the A to Z of Sex! Each week I explore a letter of the erotic alphabet, covering topics from arousal to zipless f*cks. While exploring, you will learn more about desire, how to express your desires and how to spice up your relationships and create that long lasting sizzling hot relationship you have always wanted. My guests and I will share solid science, practical techniques and real life stories. We’ll answer the questions you have been too embarrassed to ask and talk about the down and dirty details that can make or break that intimate experience. . Knowledge gives you the power to create relationships that bring you satisfaction and joy. Join me, Dr Lori Beth Bisbey, The Intimacy Coach, weekly on the A to Z of Sex podcast and discover the many layers and many flavours of sex and sexuality and how to apply these to your intimate relationships. To find out more, read the companion blog and connect with me go to www.atozofsex.com.

About your host

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Lori Beth Bisbey

Dr Lori Beth Bisbey® is a psychologist, sex & intimacy coach, accredited advance GSRD (gender, sex, relationship diversity) therapist (Pink Therapy), speaker, media personality, author & podcast host who has been working with people since for more than 30 years to help them create and maintain meaningful relationships with sizzling sex (without the shame). She has expertise in the treatment of trauma and GSRD (gender, sex, relationship diversity). Dr Lori Beth spends a lot of time working with people who want to try or already live as consensually non-monogamous or in authority transfer based relationships (BDSM and/or kink) or both. The A to Z of Sex® (her main podcast) has been running since October 2016. From 2019-2021, there were live broadcasts on the Health & Wellness Channel of VoiceAmerica.com. Dr Lori Beth Bisbey is the resident specialist relationship therapist on Channel 4's Open House: The Great Sex Experiment.